First let me say, I do trust my Dom. My question is this: we push to a new level – but when we start this level I’m going to use flogging as an example, I thought I was ready for this, but after a few swats with the flogger I realize I can’t handle it and say my safe word. He stops and we discuss what happened, why I called my safe word and then go on with the rest of our plans without anymore flogging. How does this play into all of this? Thanks

From what you’re describing, you are learning and it’s more about increasing tolerance than whether or not you like what’s happening.

When first being flogged it’s not so much about sensation but about mental connection and blending it with your emotions and perceptions. Many individuals think that you must start out with a hard leather hide because that’s flogging. And yet, a flogging with a fur flogger or a deer skin flogger can be just as intense emotionally. Physically, deer skins will help you build up your tolerance so you can take more. And in essence, that’s the same way you train someone to accept more and more pain, building that masochistic desire and release.

Here’s another analogy. imagine flogging is like lifting weights. You do not go into the gym and bench press 200 pounds…or even 100; you gradually build up to it allowing your body to acclimate. Allowing your muscles to build up to a higher tolerance and build muscle memory. The concept of “no pain no gain” is for high school boys trying to prove who’s dick is bigger. As a mature individual, you can make the decision to begin slowly, get used to that, then move up to the next level.

Live with passion,

Dr. Charley Ferrer

 

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